What's happening at cinemas in the Richmond area? This listing was prepared by Daniel Neman from reviews that have appeared in The Times-Dispatch. Reviews were written by Neman unless otherwise noted. Stars are awarded on a 1-4 basis, with 4 being the highest.

AKEELAH AND THE BEE ( ½) -- This is an uncomplicated story of an 11-year-old girl who skips school a lot but shows a particular affinity for spelling. Whenever she wants to attend a spelling bee, her mother (Angela Bassett) tries to talk her out of it; when she doesn't want to go, her wise and perfect spelling coach (Laurence Fishburne) tries to talk her into it. We may see more spelling than we absolutely need ("flocculation," "engastrimythic," "intussusception"), but the ending is surprisingly strong. The lasting impression is that of young Keke Palmer, superb in the role of Akeelah. 1:45. Rated PG. Virginia Center, West Tower.

THE BREAK-UP ( ) -- It's shot like a romantic comedy, but it isn't particularly romantic and it isn't very funny. Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, who ironically began a relationship while filming, star as a couple in the process of breaking up. Vaughn's character refuses to do any work around the house, Aniston's feels like he takes her for granted, and soon they are living in separate rooms in a condo neither one wants to leave. Watching it is uncomfortably like being at a dinner party when the host and hostess are fighting, which is exactly what we see, and at more than one party. With plenty of product placements. 1:34. Rated PG-13 (sexual content, some nudity, language). Carmike, Chester, Commonwealth, Short Pump, Southpark, Virginia Center, West Tower.

THE DA VINCI CODE ( ½) -- There is always the possibility that you will be talked to death. For 2½ hours, the characters stand around discoursing at interminable length about arcane, would-be controversial theories that frankly seem a lot less silly in the book. Tom Hanks fatally underacts and Audrey Tautou suffers from a heavy accent as a Harvard expert in symbolism and a French cop who join forces to solve a murder and protect or uncover the deepest secret in all of Christianity. The filmmakers presumably felt obligated to film as much of the book as possible, so we are left with great honking chunks of mind-numbing exposition. Oddly, they decided to leave out the romance. 2:20. Rated PG-13 (disturbing images, violence, some nudity, themes, brief sexual content). Carmike, Chester, Commonwealth, Short Pump, Southpark, Virginia Center, West Tower.

FAILURE TO LAUNCH ( ) -- The first 10 minutes of this excessively formulaic romantic comedy are actually quite witty, until the verbal banter gives way to a lack of romantic tension, silly jokes about loud mockingbirds and people being bitten by chipmunks. Sarah Jessica Parker, with incredible hair but weirdly orange skin, stars as a woman whose job it is to make men fall in love with her so they will gain self-esteem and move out of their parents' homes. But when one client turns out to be Matthew McConaughey, the inevitable love blossoms, but it is fairly tiresome and we never quite believe it. With Zooey Deschanel, Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw. Terry Bradshaw, meet Carrie Bradshaw. 1:32. Rated PG-13 (sexuality, language, Terry Bradshaw's naked rear). Byrd.

INSIDE MAN ( ½) -- It is a difficult trick this movie pulls off, a heist film in which we simultaneously root for the cop and the robbers. Clive Owen plays the smart crook inside the bank who has taken hostages; he is occasionally brutal to them so we don't become too fond of him. Denzel Washington is the cop outside trying to figure out exactly what is happening inside; it doesn't smell like an ordinary bank robbery. And Jodie Foster is sublimely slick and evil in a small role as a power broker who becomes involved at the request of the bank president, Christopher Plummer. Spike Lee directs with a joy of the genre, but he does allow the pace to lag and too much time to lapse from the climax to the ending. 2:09. Rated R (language, violence). Chesterfield.

KEEPING UP WITH THE STEINS ( ½) -- It's not funny enough and it tries too hard, like a pilot for a sitcom that was never picked up by a network. Jeremy Piven stars as an agent -- basically his character from "Entourage" -- who decides to throw the biggest bar mitzvah party ever for his son, who doesn't want it. Add the reappearance of an estranged father (Garry Marshall) and his young earth-child girlfriend (Daryl Hannah), and you've got a lot of love, a lot of lessons learned and a whole lot of schmaltz. 1:23. Rated PG-13 (some crude language, nudity, brief drug references). Westhampton.

KINKY BOOTS ( ) -- When a family-run shoe factory starts losing business, the unhappy owner starts looking for a niche market and finds it in boots for transvestites. This English comedy is perhaps more than a bit like any number of other English comedies and, like some of them, has the advantage of being true. The romance between Joel Edgerton and Sarah-Jane Potts is understated but palpable; unfortunately, the film's best actor, Chiwetal Ejiofor, may be having a great time playing a transvestite but the role is the film's most stereotyped and least nuanced. 1:43. Rated PG-13 (theme, language). Westhampton.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III ( ½) -- Not a single pane of glass goes unshattered in this perfectly acceptable action film. Tom Cruise is back as a now-retired member of the Impossible Missions Force who is pressed into action to stop miscast villain Philip Seymour Hoffman. Most of the film is spent in pursuit of an unknown object of some sort so insignificant to the story's outcome that the writers didn't even bother to think of what it could be. The action is decent, though we tire of watching Cruise running, but the direction, editing and camera-handling need work. And if you want to see the scene filmed in Richmond, don't blink. 1:58. Rated PG-13 (many intense sequences of violence, some sensuality). Chesterfield, Commonwealth, Short Pump, Virginia Center, West Tower.

THE OMEN ( ½) -- It moves too slowly to get you scared. Liev Schreiber, who is no Gregory Peck, plays a diplomat posted to England (where the background signs, hilariously, are in Czech). With wife Julia Stiles, he is unwittingly raising the son of Satan, a slightly creepy boy who causes an occasional death or two. Mia Farrow is around to instill memories of "Rosemary's Baby," and references are made to other, better horror films as well. The boring scenes outweigh the ones that are less boring, and even though it sticks close to the original, none of it is exciting. Who knew the son of Satan would be such a yawn? 1:50. Rated R (violence, language). Carmike, Chester, Commonwealth, Short Pump, Southpark, Virginia Center, West Tower.

OVER THE HEDGE ( ½) -- Not only does it suffer from heavy-handed and banal politics, this computer-animated family film is also made with sluggish timing and enervation. Some of the most blandly amiable forest critters ever put to film discover that suburbia is encroaching on their habitat, so they follow a supposedly shrewd raccoon in his quest to steal a mound of junk food from the consumerist humans. Little do they know that the raccoon has an agenda. Little do we care. The story would be better served by a cartoony style of animation, rather than three-dimensional, the jokes are dull and listless, and the jokes are forced and deflated. With voice work by Bruce Willis, Garry Shandling, Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara and others. 1:12. Rated PG. Carmike, Chester, Commonwealth, Crossings, Short Pump, Southpark, Virginia Center, West Tower.

POSEIDON ( ) -- Why did they change the name from the original book and movie, "The Poseidon Adventure"? Because there isn't any adventure. A giant wave knocks a luxury liner upside down, killing all the extras. Kurt Russell and Josh Lucas lead a group of survivors to the top of the ship, which is to say the bottom of the ship, and they face a number of obstacles along the way. Unfortunately, the obstacles are all pretty much the same, and none of the characters has the personality God gave a turnip. Some live, some die, but the only thing that matters to the audience is that the film is short. 1:28. Rated PG-13 (prolonged sequences of disaster and terror). Chesterfield, Commonwealth, Short Pump, Virginia Center, West Tower.

A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION ( ) -- It doesn't have a story, it just has a theme, and the theme is that death comes to us all, which is undeniably true but kind of a bummer. The film is an ever-so-slightly fictionalized version of the real radio show of the same name, which you can hear every week for free and save yourself eight-and-a-half bucks. A lot of actors sing and reminisce in character about their lives and what music has meant to them, and Garrison Keillor bloviates endlessly about nothing at all (though he does tell a good penguin joke). Meryl Streep and Lindsay Lohan stand out as a mother and daughter; Kevin Kline's character a parody of detective stories and films noir -- is a disaster. Oh, what the heck: The first penguin says, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo," and the second penguin says, "What makes you think I'm not?" 1:39. Rated PG-13 (risqué humor). Carmike, Commonwealth.

RV ( ½) -- Nobody does heartwarming worse than Robin Williams, but the gooey heartwarming scenes are far preferable to extensive scenes of toilet humor that make up the majority of the rest of the movie. Williams plays a husband and father who takes his family on vacation in an RV. That's not the premise, that's the entire story. The rest is toilet humor (they even give the RV a toilet-humor name) and scenes of vehicles sliding down hills. A couple of moments are amusing, but nothing about it is remotely unpredictable. 1:33. Rated PG. Commonwealth, Virginia Center.

SCARY MOVIE 4 ( ½) -- It is so sad that David Zucker and Jim Abrahams have to resort to what American comedies have become these days: jokes about flatulence, urine, vomit, excrement, kicked groins, homosexuals and a lot of people falling down after being hit in the head. Hey, it's got Viagra jokes, too! How au courant! The movies it chooses to parody most thoroughly are definitely not worthy of parodies -- "War of the Worlds," "The Grudge," "The Village" and "Saw." Who even remembers "The Grudge"? The funniest part is a bit about Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch, not that it's in any way relevant, and even so it goes on way too long. 1:14. Rated PG-13, but should be an R (much sexual humor). Chesterfield.

SEE NO EVIL () -- Director Gregory Dark has previously made porn (and a Britney Spears video), and although the actors keep their clothes on in this one it is no less gratuitous and exploitative than his previous offerings. In this uncomfortably misogynistic film, even for a horror flick, eight small-time criminals are sent to clean up the dilapidated hotel that is home to a "reclusive psychopath." This killer, played by pro wrestler Kane, wants to torture and murder these characters played by actors you've never heard of. Though the killings are gory, they are unintentionally hilarious. (Reviewed by the Associated Press.) 1:24. Rated R (gruesome violence and gore, language, sexual content, drug use). Chesterfield, Commonwealth, Virginia Center.

THE SENTINEL ( ) -- Thoroughly unexceptional, but in no way bad, this thriller puts the president's life on the line. The Secret Service agent, played by Michael Douglas, best equipped to save it, is also the chief suspect. It's the standard story of an innocent man having to catch the real criminals before he is himself apprehended, though the actors are better than most: Kiefer Sutherland, Kim Basinger, Eva Longoria, Martin Donovan, David Rasche and, in tiny roles, Blair Brown and Kristen Lehman. The villains hilariously turn out to be ex-KGB agents with no stated agenda, but that doesn't matter to the story. Director Clark Johnson keeps the story moving swiftly. 1:44. Rated PG-13 (action violence, a scene of sensuality). Byrd.

STICK IT ( ) -- In this era of play-it-safe, predictable formulas, "Stick It" stands out by veering suddenly away from the expected routine. Otherwise, it is an unusually funny sports story about a rebellious young woman (Missy Peregrym) sentenced by a court to train for a gymnastics team. Jeff Bridges plays the hard-nosed coach who eventually comes to respect her, and vice versa. With the usual assortment of friends and enemies, and a climax that takes place at a major competition (oddly, it seems to have a cash prize). It is at the climax that the film indulges in a bit of wish fulfillment that is not at all what you would expect, but probably resolves some long-lingering resentment. 1:38. Rated PG-13 (crude remarks). Chesterfield.

UNITED 93 ( ) -- Parts of this film about a 9/11 hijacking will break your heart. United 93 was the plane that was brought down by its passengers in a Pennsylvania field, and this dramatization of its brief flight used all available information to be as accurate as possible. Writer-director Paul Greenglass' style is so immediate that the viewers feel like participants, both in the air and at air traffic control centers on the ground. Much of the acting is extraordinary, and Greenglass uses no familiar faces to distract you. What makes the film so chillingly effective is its use of dramatic irony -- we know what is happening, even when the participants do not. 1:43. Rated R (language, intense terror, violence). Chesterfield, Commonwealth.

WATER ( ) -- This film was probably made to shame Hindu fundamentalists into changing their ways by exposing the emotional pain inflicted by some of their traditions. That might not be the best reason to make a movie, but it works. A 7-year-old widow is forced like all widows to spend the rest of her life in enforced poverty. At a home for widows, she meets a beautiful young woman (Lisa Ray) who has to be a prostitute to pay their bills. This woman would like to fall in love with an equally handsome lawyer (John Abraham), but tradition forbids remarriage. In Hindi. 1:52. Not rated, but not for children. West Tower.

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