Yet Hodel's latest venture may be his boldest yet: scamming high school kids. He started Athletic Scholarship Corporation, which purports to match Junior with college scholarships nationwide.

"Coach Hodel," as he now refers to himself, claims to work with professional athletes and coaches to compile highlight reels of Little Timmy, which he then sends to his many supposed contacts at colleges across the country. It's a value of over $90,000, claims Hodel's website. But you, the preferred customer, can get it all for the low, low price of just $19.99 a month!

Unfortunately, says Rory Fitzpatrick, assistant athletic director at St. Ignatius, Hodel is entering a field flooded with con men. Fitzpatrick already receives junk mail by the pound from similar companies.

"To think that the assistant coach at Penn State's gonna pick up the phone from Athletic Scholarship Corporation and give them the time of day, they're crazy," says Fitzpatrick. "I'd love to see who his professional athletes and coaches are."

Ninety-degree heat in May tends to lead to a lot of sweat. So last week, one homeless man, apparently afraid of being mistaken for a Frenchman, walked into Dave's Supermarket in Ohio City and stole $106.52 worth of deodorant. Managers wouldn't comment about the man's motives, but one customer joked, "If you ask me, he didn't take enough."

It's a time-honored tradition: If some free rag disses you in print, you exact revenge by slyly stealing all the free rags you can from newsstands.

Last week, it was Blaine Zahand's turn to uphold tradition. He's the former sex offender accused of a bizarre plot to scam strippers out of their Lap Dance Funds, which are apparently not traded on NASDAQ ("Stripped Off," May 31). But Zahand, who isn't a very good criminal -- his excuse was he used the money for drug deals -- once again proved himself more Reno 911 than Law & Order.

Not long after Scene exposed his bizarre enterprise, he was seen at Common Grounds in West Park cleaning out our rack, according to several witnesses who ratted him out. He also hit other businesses at Kamm's Corners, the witnesses said.

"I recognized Blaine, because I was one of his victims," says Rose Southard. "He got kicked out of Common Grounds a while ago, because he was hustling some of the girls here too."

The Jewish Community Center is renowned for its arts and youth programs. Now it's a pioneer in fast food: The world's only all-kosher Subway opens there this week.

The franchise promises most of the items offered at civilian Subways, with the exception of dairy products and pork. Also kosher: ubiquitous pitchman Jared Fogle, who will take part in a grand-opening ceremony this week.

"It's a complete dovetail with our mission," says the JCC's Debra Posner, explaining the indelible link between Meatball Marinara subs and Jews. "We're really trying to be a gathering place for the community, and what better way to do that than with food?"

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