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Next week, I'm speaking at the Sex in Video Games Conference in San Francisco. But unlike the other speakers, I'm not going to talk about games.

I'm going to talk about sex and the activities that surround it online -- flirtation, courtship, rules, jealousy, attachment, love and breaking up, not necessarily in that order.

Participate in an adult community and you'll quickly realize the relationships between members are more complicated than they seem on the surface.

Often, bonds of affection or emotional passion form through sexual interaction, and relationships can become quite dramatic. Even in chat, people begin to pair up, although not always monogamously. Relationships follow a familiar arc: attraction, flirtation, escalating sexual interaction, deepening emotion.

Regardless of what brought someone to the community, once the attachments form, it's easy to become a regular -- if only for the suspense of what will happen next.

Like chat rooms, online role-playing games have long been platforms for romance. Whether in text-only adventures (yes, they still exist) or in graphics-intensive virtual environments, in-world flirtation is a given and sex is at least a possibility.

Any time you can get at least six people of compatible genders and sexual orientations in one spot, you will find some sort of sexual zing among them.

But more and more, game developers are finding ways to incorporate sex as a standard plot point, not just a byproduct of regular game social interaction.

The International Game Developers Association's Sex & Games blog has developed an archive of more than 300 sex-themed games (NSFW), ranging from strip poker to hentai beach volleyball to sex-ed to hands-on couples games to kinky virtual worlds.

But I don't think that's the only challenge these companies face. Multiplayer erotic games are going to have to do something other games don't: Attract people who don't play video games.

From what I've seen in blogs and forums, "real" gamers scoff at sex games. "Go watch porn," they say, sardonic and superior. Games are serious, cybersex is not, and combining the two is just another example of the entertainment industry not getting it.

I disagree, but this attitude illustrates why erotic games will have to reach beyond game enthusiasts to populate their worlds. That, and the fact that gamers are already playing with other gamers, and don't need to add or switch to a new game to continue to do so.

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