I don't particularly care for Serena Maneesh's album, but then again, I'm not a sucker for anything shoegaze (like so many people I know). So I expected the Norwegian band's live show to be as boring as their album, with lots of staring at the floor. Well, apparently nobody told Serena Maneesh that you're supposed to look like you don't care when you play this kind of music. From frontman Emil Nikolaisen's Hendrix-meets-Stevie Nicks outfit and guitar bashing to the statuesque bassist's awkward pogoing, this was clearly a performance from people who grew up watching metal videos on MTV. Not at all a bad thing! The music was still dull, though, and there was way too much jamming.

The Rumble Strips' set at the Blender Balcony was criminally under-attended; maybe everybody was at the "secret" Flaming Lips gig or the Matador showcase. Suckers. What they missed was one of the most exciting new bands in Britain, a twee-ish, post-punk-ish four-piece featuring a trumpet player and a saxophonist and fronted by a guy who yelps like Morrissey gone David Byrne. (It also helps that he's foxy like Travis Morrison.) The Rumble Strips were bouncy and happy and completely unpretentious, and for a half an hour, I loved life and that was that.

The Ark are also bouncy and happy, but they're completely pretentious in the best possible way. Best described as "the Swedish Cheap Trick", these guys dress like hookers and play like they're in a sold-out hockey arena. Smoke machines, choreographed moves, a shirtless frotman in a Scott Weiland hat, a guitar solo played by the guitarist's teeth-why the fuck weren't more people there to see them? When the keyboardist/backup singer hit a particularly low note, the lead singer remarked that the sound "makes the small hairs on my scrotum stretch out to infinity." Could Belle and Sebastian really top that?

This morning, the lineup for Lollapalooza 2006 was announced, revealing a galaxy of alternative rock stars, indie icons, jam bands, has-beens, up-and-comers, and even a few token rappers. The big name headliners seem to be Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kanye West, Manu Chao (?!), Wilco, Death Cab for Cutie, Jack White's new baby the Raconteurs, the Flaming Lips, Ween (??!!), Queens of the Stone Age, the Shins, Common, and everybody's favorite punching bag, Matisyahu.

Just glancing at the roster for the three-day extravaganza, taking place at Chicago's Grant Park August 4-6, is making me tired. So here's a sampling of the full list; for the whole thing, check out the Lollapalooza website.

M.C. Schmidt and Pitchfork's own Drew Daniel, together known as Matmos, aren't the kind of guys you'd expect a short, concise song cycle from. Rather, they're known for making music that basks in its concept. But even by their own standards, Matmos's new album may feel like a headswim. That disc, exquisitely titled The Rose Has Teeth in the Mouth of a Beast, hits American shelves on May 9 courtesy of Matador Records.

TRHTITMOAB, as we like to call it, is said to be Schmidt and Daniel's shot at musical biography. The album is composed of ten tracks, each of which focuses on a different historical individual who influenced the musicians' lives. Each song constructs its own musical style; according to the band, "porn funk," "Wagnerian slapstick," and "Arabic ragtime psychedelia" are all explored on the album.

If that sounds too normal, consider that Matmos also reenacted events from the lives of those being recounted, and then used sounds from said performances as part of their music. They also took items important to the songs' subjects and built melodies out of the noises these items made. Such objects include snails, semen, burning flesh, and "bovine reproductive track" (we're not making this up, we swear!).

Vocalists on The Rose include Björk, Antony, Laetitia Sonami, Marcus Schmickler, M. C. Schmidt's older brother Werner, and Maja Ratjke. It's a party!

"It's not going to be easy music to play live, so we're recruiting some special lineups for our tours of Europe and America and (maybe) Asia in the fall. We're extremely chuffed to announce that Zeena Parkins will be in the band for our European adventures and So Percussion will be playing with us for the U.S. shows. There will be a special concert at the Whitney Museum of American Art to coincide with the album coming out in May, and more dates are getting firmed up as we speak."

For little teenage me, the worst thing about being underage wasn't not being allowed to drink legally. It was not being able to go to shows in bars. Growing up in Philadelphia, I cried myself to sleep over missing Sonic Youth side projects at the Khyber and third-tier Sub Pop grunge bands at Dobbs.

Thank god for R5 Productions. The Philly show promotions agency has been putting on all ages gigs at various venues around the city since I was a wee one, entertaining kids with the best indie, punk, noise, hip-hop, and emo acts on the road. Through the years, I saw Rainer Maria, KARP, Bright Eyes, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Out Hud, Liars, Delta 72, Wesley Willis, and countless others at R5 gigs, mostly in the basement of the First Unitarian Church at 22nd and Chestnut. While those shows were often hot, sweaty, and crowded, they were always cheap, well-organized, and super fun.

And--perhaps most importantly--R5 has always remained refreshingly free of corporate influence. Even as the Clear Channel stranglehold on the Philly music scene grew stronger and stronger, R5 continued to succeed as DIY independents.

Next week, R5 will celebrate their tenth anniversary with ten powerhouse shows. The lucky children of Illadelph get to experience a vast swath of the indie universe, from Animal Collective and the Go! Team to Love Is All, the Gossip, and Arctic Monkeys, all at intimate venues. Jenny Lewis and Thanksgiving are even playing inside the First Unitarian Church!

Other performers on the R5 schedule for the next few months include the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Art Brut, Avail, Appleseed Cast, Acid Mothers Temple, Jamie Lidell, Mount Eerie, Isis, Mogwai, Sunset Rubdown with Frog Eyes, Jens Lekman, Soul Position, and Prefuse 73 with Edan.

Eighteen North Carolina acts, from the internationally famous to the regionally unknown, cover other North Carolina acts on Songs for Sixty Five Roses, a benefit compilation to be released by the Splinter Group via Red Eye Distribution on March 21. John Plymale, a member of the prominent 90s Chapel Hill bands The Pressure Boys and Sex Police and more recently a producer for Superchunk, Squirrel Nut Zippers and others, organized the concern. When Plymale's daughter Allie was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis in 2004, he tapped his connections for a benefit, and landed contributions from Portastatic, Eric Bachmann, Southern Culture on the Skids, former Zipper Katherine Whalen, and others.

A release show featuring Mac McCaughan, Southern Culture on the Skids, Whalen, Two Dollar Pistols, and many more is slated for March 31 at the Chapel Hill club Cat's Cradle. All proceeds from the show and the disc benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

Oh and the name? "Sixty-five roses" is how children are taught to pronounce the chronic respiratory and digestive condition, which is usually diagnosed in early childhood and has a median survival age of 33.

Here's a Jewish folktale they don't tell you in Hebrew school: Boy has Bar Mitzvah. Boy rakes in mad cash. Boy buys turntables. Boy becomes DJ legend.

Such is the story of Alain Macklovitch, aka A-Trak. The championship turntablist is one of the most sought-after spinners in hip-hop, and he currently serves as Kanye West's touring DJ. Did we mention he's only 24 years old? Sure, having an older brother who's a hip-hop producer/Vice editor/Chromeo member helped, but this kid made it to the top through the strength of his fingers alone. If only The Hebrew Hammer had as good a script...

The Montreal golden boy's journey from "Mazel Tov" to "Jesus Walks" is chronicled on the A-Trak DVD Sunglasses Is a Must which will be released on April 4 courtesy of Nature Sounds/Caroline. (It was originally supposed to come out yesterday, but the company distributing it, Studio Distribution, went bankrupt.) Peanut Butter Wolf, KLC, the Beastie Boys, Money Mark, and, of course, Kanye, all appear in the film.

2006 looks to be a busy year for the young scratch-master. He's hard at work on his debut solo album, tentatively due in the fall, and slated to feature guest spots from Dipset, Little Brother, and Kanye cohort GLC. He also recently released two mixes: the 'Ye-endorsed GLC collaborative mixtape Drive Slow and the live set Oh No You Didn't! (Live in Vancouver).

If A-Trak didn't seem like such a likeable dude, we'd be jealous of him. But we're not. So, while we reflect on how little we've accomplished in our young lives, you can amuse yourselves by reading the itinerary for the remainder of Kanye West's "Touch the Sky" world tour, for which A-Trak will be manning the turntables.

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